absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
