Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
