drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
