just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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