I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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