I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
