He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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