1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
