Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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