Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
