i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
