she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My dick has a subreddit
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize