he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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