she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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