I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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