I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
