Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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