How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
