Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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