Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
