oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
