I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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