If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
More tranny stories later!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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