Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize