sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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