Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
