dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
