I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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