Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
