We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
