Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
