got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
