At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
