Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
