worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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