YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
