He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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