Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
