"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
