My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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