There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
