it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize