Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just invented taco cereal.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
