I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
