whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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