i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
