He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
