Dual....:-)
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am naked and annoyed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize