I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize