hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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