i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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