goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
