i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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