I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I understand Curling. That high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize