No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
