HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
