the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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