somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
