you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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