Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
