Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
