I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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