you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
is wine microwaveable?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize