Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
