Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was born a porn star she said
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
