Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
