In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
