He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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