every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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